Whole30-ing like my life depends on it!

My poor little Paleo blog here. Let me dust off the cobwebs and give her another run.

The Whole Life Challenge was a success even though I didn't get to officially *finish* it by doing the final workout because of a brown recluse spider bite that resulted in surgery and a giant hole in my leg for nearly two weeks, but which sidelined me for nearly three. And twice already since the start of the year have I attempted to go back to CrossFit, but have been sidelined both times by the baby's sickness (including an ER trip and a hospital stay), and then for me a head cold, turned mild flu (three solid days in bed) turned stomach virus something or other. We're now working on week 3 again of being out CrossFit.

It's disheartening. Frustrating. And depressing.

Since the baby has been sick and I've been sick, even trying to do the Advocare 24 Day Challenge, I've been straight up stress eating (not doing the stomach virus any favors here either). At least I recognize that I'm stress eating. It's not stopping me from doing it, and I know that it is feeding into my depression here, too. And I feel like crap. I'm not going to complain about it, but I know exactly why I feel terrible, but I'm stuck in this place I can't get out of.

I'm giving myself the rest of the week to mope and try to get to CrossFit and try to get some sleep and catch up on work, and then Monday I'm starting a Whole30. And I'm doing it as if my life depended on it. Honestly, right now, I feel it sort of does. I feel like the Whole Life Challenge would have been much more beneficial and kept me closer to the straight and narrow during the holidays had I not had to be on the elimination diet for a month, been sick, had surgery, and had a baby that was sick and not sleeping. Not that I'm trying to make excuses here. But I know that my health right now, my whole health, hinges on what I'm fueling my body with. I know, from trial and error, that 95% clean paleo is optimal for my body. I know others can get away with an 80/20 or 85/15 plan--my husband and father are like that. For me, it needs to be a bit cleaner more consistently.

I'll be chronicling the Whole30 journey; I'm shooting for a day by day recap (probably the morning after).

My body/system is a mess. I'm a long way from where I began back in June of 2012.  Here's what I'm struggling with now that I'm hoping (and which I'm confident) the Whole30 is going to help with:

• Sickness/stomach issues. I've been sick a lot since I got pregnant Oct. 2012. I know part of that was pregnancy related. And I know that another part of it is lack of sleep because I have an infant who did not start sleeping through the night until about a week ago (she's 7 months old). However, given all of these factors, a better diet would mitigate the intensity and duration of illness, or at least that's what I'm hoping for. And if I can remain healthy, then I won't be passing that along to the baby or won't be as susceptible to her passing colds along to me. And I'm tired of taking tums every night, multiple times a night.
• Sleep. Part of my getting sick was that I didn't sleep. And even though the baby has been sleeping better and more consistently now, my sleep isn't good because I've been sick and have had stomach aches. I've also had trouble getting to sleep, so I've been staying up later but not feeling rested even after 8 hours of sleep. This affects my health and ability to make it to my workouts in the morning.
• Not being able to work out, mainly because of the above two issues and I just feel like crap.
• Depression. And major PMS. When I first started Paleo, one thing I noticed almost immediately was how much less depressed I was and that my PMS disappeared. Gluten literally makes me sad. And honestly, lately, I'm almost at the point to where I'm about to start having trouble functioning. I find myself also really resentful and jealous of everyone else, and I really hate that feeling.
• Concentration/ability to get my work done quickly. Grading just sits on my desk and stockpiles. I'm NEVER like that with grading. I collect it, grade it, hand it back usually within 48 hours. This academic year? Not so much. Reading and prep takes me forever. And I find it hard to even remember really what I have been reading. Not so great for having to teach novels and such.
• Aches. I just ache. My body aches. I feel middle aged. I don't like that. At all.
• Skin/hair/nails. Skin is not bad yet. My nails are in terrible shape. My hair is losing its luster again. I don't like that at all.
• Stressed. I feel stressed, like I can't keep up with anything, like I'm constantly working and unable to spend as much time with my baby as I'd like. I don't feel like I have time for anything. I want to write. I can't seem to make time for that. Every thing is a push and a rush and a trial. I don't even have time to cook properly because I think of all the other things that need to get done. I hate that.

There you go. I know that all of those are intimately related.  I'm hoping that when one falls into place that hopefully the rest of the things will begin to slowly fall into place as well.

I'm excited about the next month. Having done this before (only once successfully though), I know how hard it can be, but I know how wonderful the other side is, too. While it is true that I hope that this will help get the rest of the baby weight (or a significant amount) and inches off, honestly, since I have at least one pair of jeans and one pair of pants that fit and some dresses, it's not my primary concern. My adjusted goal for that is at least by Swee'Pea's first birthday to be back in the pre-pregnancy summer clothes (because I won't be able to afford new clothes this summer!). And if I can remain healthy and reign my issues in, it shouldn't be a problem.

So here's to good meals with some wine and king cake for the rest of the week, cabinet and fridge cleaning, meal prep and condiment making this weekend, and an enthusiastic Whole30 start on Monday. I can't wait!