Weekly Round Up, Week 3

Yeah, so I ate some non-compliant food last week. I started to say cheated, but I don't want to think of it that way because I don't want food guilt.

I made it through last Sunday. Sunday night was a bad night. Monday was a bad day. But I held it together. What I "cheated" with was a protein shake. I had been struggling to get all of my protein in. I was also still feeling crummy. I never hit that spot, even increasing my carbs, that spot where I start to feel good. My workouts were still horrible. I still could not recover. I think everything was off balance still. Then I had some oatmeal.  And some kill cliff. I made it through Valentine's day, but on Wednesday, I had chocolate. On Friday, I had pizza. Saturday, ice cream.

I do very much feel like I've let everyone down. I started the group, I asked for you guys' help, and I do feel like I've failed you.

What I have been doing is following my macros. I haven't lost much weight throughout this whole process, but in the last week of following my macros, I have gotten less bloated. I do feel like my training was a little bit better last week. I didn't make it this morning though. I need sleep. The kid, man, she's killing me. I mean, the interrupted sleep is just killing me. Maybe three to four hours at a time if I'm lucky. It makes it hard to work out, hard to function still. Granted, at least two weeks of the whole30 made it easier. A poor diet would have made it worse.

What have l learned?
Of all the things that have the worst effect on me, sugar seems to be it. I felt horrible on Sunday after the ice cream. I mean, it was good. I enjoyed it, but yesterday was awful. Today is pretty crappy, too, so I have to decide--do I want to feel like shit or do I want to indulge often. It's really hard though. I won't lie, as I'm here making cookies for my class right now. But last night was the first night in a while that I had trouble falling back asleep after the kid woke me up multiple times, and I don't want to go back to that.

You know what I didn't enjoy that I thought I would? The pizza. It was disappointing.

But something else happened. Once I broke the Whole30 with the protein shake and focused on macros, my cravings instantly disappeared. Once I could have whatever I wanted, I didn't want it anymore. It didn't bother me. Although the desire to eat the cookies is great, but I know they won't be good.

What do I need to work on?
I'm not sure much is going to change for me until the kid starts sleeping. I need sleep. I really really need sleep. We're all on edge here. Even the kid.

What will I work on this week?
Staying Whole30 compliant mostly aside from protein shakes and kill cliffs. I'm focused during the open to train and perform (I mean, you know, as well as I can), but also looking forward to the competition in April. So looking forward, I'm focusing on macros and healthy eating, allowing perhaps for a splurge on Saturday nights. But at the end of the week, I'm going to do the weights and measurements and see where I'm at.

I hope you guys are not too disappointed in me.