Epic Fail

Last night was.

My plan not to go whole hog because I recommit to a Whole30 today did not happen.

Perhaps I should not think of it as an "epic fail." My mom had mentioned concretes (custard mixed with stuff) earlier yesterday. And by last night it sounded good. And it was. I enjoyed it. We decided against having wine just to have wine though. And dinner wasn't totally unhealthy--the worst part of it was the teriyaki sauce, which I need to find a soy free recipe (though most are made with honey also, so it won't be Whole30 approved).

I enjoyed that concrete. It was just enough. But I'm done.

I was thinking last night, you know if right now I can't seem to get myself together for myself, then if I need the extra motivation, I need to do it for my daughter. I don't want to be one of those parents who's so wiped out after a day of work that when I pick her up from daycare I'm too tired to really enjoy my time with her. I don't want the weekends to be about recovering from the week and sitting in front of the t.v. Before summer started, oddly, I was headed in the right direction. After a summer of bad choices, I'm paying for it mentally and physically. And I said this all last spring, I need to go beyond just the 30 days. I need to figure out how to make this my lifestyle rather than a series of challenges. I don't want my daughter to see that either! That's about as bad as dieting; it's just semantics.

I know I learn a little bit more every time. And for me, that's what's important right now.

I'll get a good work out in today. I'll go grocery shopping. And we'll go from there.