Week 3

Wow, I have not been good this time around at all at keeping up with this.

This Whole30, for whatever reason, is proving much harder this time around.

I wonder if it's just stress. I mean, I have to tell myself that perhaps if I weren't doing the Whole30, if I were giving into my stress cravings, then I'd feel a whole lot worse. The sugar demons have not gone away this time. Last month I had super bad cramps and a horrible backache with my PMS from the gluten and crap that we ate with the start of the quarter. Now that I've eliminated that, I don't have the cramps or the backache, but the sugar craving is still there. I've been good though. I eat fruit despite there being a ton of Paleo ice cream and Paleo Magic Shell in the freezer waiting for me on Halloween.

Boudreaux is off the Whole30, so I've been sticking my nose in his wine glass or his cider and just inhaling. It's so wrong of him to do that in front of me. Last night he ate a bunch of chips in front of me and a chocolate covered banana. And he's got some m&ms stashed somewhere in here, too. It's so unfair. But yet, I try to remain strong, and his punishment is dealing with the grumpy that accompanies his eating the things I desire in front of me. I should make his happy ass sleep on the couch.

Because I'm still fighting off whatever it is that I caught in the second week of the quarter, as is everyone else around me--seriously, students sniffling and sneezing and coughing in my general direction; I still see signs every day indicating that a faculty member's classes are canceled--I have been exceptionally lazy since the start of the quarter. I had made the resolve not to eat out the rest of the Whole30. My poor planning leaves me starving at night (I've had to hide the almonds--I don't want to gain weight here! But it's not working) which means we usually do not end up with leftovers for lunch. Ugh. It's a vicious cycle. But this is what I keep telling myself about maintaining the Whole30--all of this would be so much worse if I weren't. Because I guarantee you that most of those meals would be pizza, and not even the gluten free kind at this point.

Here's how I'm coping:

1. My sleep would be a whole lot worse if I weren't doing this. Yes, I'm struggling still, and just about caught up with work, but sleep would suck more.
2. I'm at least listening to my body so if I don't get enough sleep, I don't workout. If I weren't on the Whole30 right now, my food would suck and so would my workouts. 
3. I think my stress level would be waaaaaaaaaaay higher than it is right now.
4. Despite all of this, I actually feel pretty good.
5. My "binges" have involved blackberries, oranges, hard boiled eggs, leftover meat loaf, and almonds. Even though lots of almonds, I'm going to say that this is much better than chips, candy, and Ben & Jerry's. 
6. I may be rocking some serious bloat right now from my PMS, but at least, unlike last month's gluten extravaganza, that bloat is not accompanied by debilitating cramps and serious pain. 
7. And, truth be told, my stress and sleep do seem to have evened out a little bit more over the last couple of days. 
8. The afternoon slump is hit or miss. I've had a couple of good days where I've gotten work done, and a couple of crappy days when I've just made tea, ate almonds, and snuggled under the blanket on the couch. 

 All things considered, even though this time hasn't been as smooth as the one over the summer, the summer one was easier because I could nap at will, and I had ALL day to cook or grocery shop. I could make lunch from scratch, not have to pack leftovers. I had plenty of rest time.

So week 3 has been hit or miss. I've got 10 more days to go. I think I can; I think I can...

Days 12-13

Argh! That is how all of my blog posts seem to be starting lately.

Just when I think I've turned the corner, BAM! Right back to sick or exhausted or unable to sleep or whatever again.

I think being sick, early PMS, and the inability to get more than one night in a row of solid sleep is what is prompting some intense sugar cravings. It's Day 14; these things should be gone by now, especially since I don't eat non Paleo desserts anymore (and not since this Whole30 started). But OH.MY.GOD. These last few days have been absolutely brutal. I have wanted all manner of terrible things. It's been months, months I tell you, since I've craved pizza, but this week. Oh man, I've been so close to caving. And my stomach aches--man, I've really only wanted ginger ale and rice. Fortunately I've found that ginger tea and slivered almonds do a fine job of settling tummies. Or at least mine.

And the craving for Boudreaux's Paleo ice cream and some Paleo Magic Shell continues to grow. It's so annoying. By this time last time, I was over all of this.

I think the lack of sleep is the culprit. I'm wired in the mornings, even despite lack of sleep, slumpy and grouchy in the afternoons (but I won't nap because I don't want it to disrupt my sleep even more), and then wired again after dinner. This is a stress/cortisol issue. And I seriously don't know what else to do right now. So maybe I just have to suck it up and keep pushing through, make sure I continue to get healthy foods in me, and see if this week is any different. I need to get some more melatonin then, too, which I wish I didn't need right now, but I need sleep more.

We'll see how today goes. I got about 7 hours of sleep, but I was also up at 4:30, so meh. It's a toss up. I was really hoping to catch up and get about 10 hours, but when Boudreaux has drill, I may as well have drill. And he gets tomorrow off. I don't. So whatever. We'll see how the next couple of days go.

Days 7-11

Well, things were seeming to start to go better, until last night.

Let me back up.

Days 7, 8, & 9 I was still feeling sluggish. Tired. I noticed the sugar cravings starting to subside a little bit. I even noticed that just the desire to eat was starting to subside a little bit, too. Like Tuesday I was able to go from breakfast until the afternoon--skipping lunch--and not feeling cranky or crazy or anything like that. I had a snack when I got home because my head started to hurt a little bit, but I was good until dinner with no major mood swing. And Wednesday when I got home, I had a little snack and then read for 3.5 hours and didn't need coffee or tea or anything to keep me focused. That was a change! And then yesterday morning, I woke up feeling refreshed and energetic and like the tide had finally shifted. I came to the realization that the reason I had been feeling so beat down probably at CF was directly related to this first two weeks of the Whole30 (which means I've been doing it right this time!), and that was totally liberating! It's not because I'm "old" (I mean for crying out loud, I'm under 40!), it's because my body is still trying to undo the crap I did the two weeks prior. Sheesh.

But yesterday, just when I thought the tide was changing, I noticed something weird. I didn't work out yesterday morning (it's my usual rest day). I had a good breakfast, as usual, and a filling lunch, but when I got home, I was STARVING! I ate more than I had been in the afternoons (2 oz nuts and 2 hardboiled eggs, and an apple and nut butter--and I've been REALLY good about not consuming that much nuts since I do really really really want to lose weight). And then dinner. And I was grumpy. Oh man was I grumpy. And fidgety. And annoyed. And exhausted. And totally wired to the max. I didn't sleep for anything last night either. I woke up at midnight with a raging headache. I didn't fall back asleep until after 4 am, and then woke up with a headache and a terrible stomach ache.

I think I might know what the main problem was that just occurred to me. I switched from the decaf, right, to half caff because those headaches and stomach aches were killing me. Yesterday, for the first time since I've been on half caff, I had unsweet tea with my lunch, which was after 12 pm. I think it was the full caffeine of the iced tea. (Incidentally, the owner of the box mentioned that when he had iced tea the other day it made him really sick, and that was the first time that had ever happened). So I wonder if that was the main culprit. Iced tea hadn't ever affected me like that before, but I don't know.

Also, I forgot to turn the air down before I went to bed. The house was too hot for me. And I think that's why I was finally able to fall back asleep around 4:30--after I had turned the air down at midnight. It finally cooled off. And one of the mutts is afflicted with allergies and he was all over me last night. Last night was like the perfect storm of crapitude then messing with my sleep. And I did wake up sick and bloated and feeling just gross.

So perhaps the tide really is turning and I just made a stupid bonehead choice that had some major repercussions. I'll just stick to my half caff in the mornings and my water and decaf or uncaffeinated hot tea in the afternoon. No more iced tea for me.

Yesterday, too, in addition to the overeating and the like, was the strongest of the sweet craving days so far. I had a few in days 1-3, and they've steadily waned, but last night, I was ravenous. I was considering breaking the Whole30 for some Paleo ice cream and some Paleo Magic Shell. Like I was quite literally growling at Boudreaux. Thankfully he talked me down from the ledge, but man, last night was brutal. The first really brutal day so far. I'm hoping by Monday I've got everything under control, can get back to my hard work outs (marathon training starts soon, too), and have the energy I need to get the stuff done that I need to in the next 2 weeks.

Days 4-6

I was bad and lazy with the food prep this week. Fortunately there are two places we can eat Paleo that are actually Whole30 compliant. There's a place we can get killer salads and fajitas without the fixings work, too. It's not ideal, and the goal is now not to eat out for the next three weeks, Paleo/Whole30 or not.

I think I'm on the upswing here as far as energy and perhaps finally getting over whatever I was sick with, I hope anyway. Of course, it could be the switch back to half caff rather than full decaf--the Whole30 headaches and crappiness along with caffeine withdrawal headaches AND stomach aches was too much for me. I should have started with half caff and then moved to 1/4 caff rather than working backwards here, but oh well. I will strive for a full caffeine ween over Thanksgiving break when I can nap and rest more.

I think I've been sleeping better. My stomach bloat has been steadily decreasing all week since starting the Whole30 again. I can't tell with my hips though, but I'll have to go by my clothes. We'll see how that plays out.

Key for me is keeping the stress level down. If I can keep the stress down and the cortisol levels where they should be, then I should be able to lose the belly bloat and the hip bloat. We'll see. But yesterday was the best I've felt in a while, even after a totally gnarly workout. And I'm sore today, but yesterday the Boudreaux was feeling horrible after the workout, but I felt okay. And I feel pretty good today.

Recap--
Stress--Better these last couple days. I've been able to get some rest, and I've had a couple of easy class days. It also helps knowing that in 2/3 classes I've got the material well under control for the rest of the quarter certainly makes things a bit better. And I feel confident that I can finish the novel I'm teaching this week today, and that I should be able to get started on the one for next week this week, too. That all helps.

Sleep--Better. Last couple of nights, no melatonin, so that's a plus.

Food--whole30 compliant, but could still be making better choices. I've noticed though that eliminating the ton of fruit that I used to eat in the morning and eating eggs and berries for breakfast has cut down on my hunger tremendously throughout the day.  I've also been more aware at how many nuts I consume, and measure out the almond butter and use it sparingly. I've had more veggies this time, and more protein and fats with lunch which keeps me from needing to snack as much when I get home before dinner. I'm learning much more this time around about myself and what is the best way for me to eat that will cut down on sugar cravings and fill me up. A more filling breakfast seems to be key for me here. Same for lunch. I think for me, keeping the majority of the calories in early in the day might work better for me. We'll see at the end of the month!

Another WHOLE30!

This time the CF Box is hosting a Whole30. There's some money on the line, too. And I've engaged in some good natured trash talk with the owner. Even if there were on $5 on the line for first place, my goal would still be to beat him. :)

As it turns out, I don't think I did the first Whole30 right the last time. I've read It Starts With Food, so I'm not sure how I missed for the Whole30 part that I couldn't have honey! And I guess I sort of ignored the "no Paleo desserts" part, too, because I didn't consider the fruit "cobbler" and the Paleo ice cream (coconut milk, eggs, vanilla, and fruit) really dessert. And I didn't read some labels clearly enough to check for honey or added sugar.

Three full days in, and I TOTALLY feel the difference. Which makes it clear that there needed to be some adjustments here, too. I've cut out the fruit protein shakes in the morning, and I feel the effects of the lack of sugar there, too. Plus, I've decided to cut out caffeine this time around, so it's a massive shock to my system.

And let me tell you, the combination of no sugar, no caffeine, and working full time this time around has left my body exhausted. And truer to what others' Whole30 experiences have been like (so I've read), I'm much more moody this time around. I think it's because knowing we were doing this and doing it as a competition, we threw caution to the wind the last two weeks, and I really broke every thing that I had been abiding by since like March. Everything is out of whack it feels like right now. My performance has suffered a bit in the last two weeks. My sleep has been gnarly. It's extremely clear to me that 70/30 or 80/20 or even 85/15 is not optimal for me, perhaps because of my age, and perhaps because I'm still not where I want to be. I need to think, after the Whole 30, more in terms of 95/5. And no gluten whatsoever.

My body hates me right now, just like it did in March after spring break, and just like it did in August when I came back from my cousin's wedding.

Recap for Days 1-3
Stress--through the roof, as it has been since the quarter started. This is problem number one. I've experienced my first weight gain of the year since I started losing weight in January since this quarter started. I feel like since Monday my cortisol production has increased because my belly seems to have gotten bigger rather than smaller after three days of clean eating. This tells me the following:

• I need more rest.
• I need to be better organized so that I can reduce the stress.
• I need to do something in the afternoon that relieves stress instead of trying to nap (which has been unsuccessful), in the hopes that I get better sleep.

Sleep--has been a bit better. I had to start taking the melatonin to help me sleep again because my brain won't shut down and relax, but in the last three days I've gone from 3 to 2 to 1 pill. That's improvement. And I find that for the first time in a while, I'm sleeping through the night, despite the Red Rocket's bed shenanigans.

Food--Last night was tough. I didn't have anything prepped because I was tired, and Boudreaux came home late. So we had grass fed, free range, no sugar, no preservatives, no nothing added, organic bacon and  some eggs. 

Workouts--I feel slow and heavy and like everyone is improving and I'm not, and it's pissing me off. This is in part because since classes have started and since I got sick and fell behind, I haven't been able to get in in the afternoons. And that pisses me off, too.

So here we start day 4. I'm actually really exhausted this morning, and I feel like I should go back to bed for another hour or two, but I've got so much work to do that I need to do my work so maybe I can get some restful sleep later and have my afternoon free to do some meal prep for tonight and tomorrow.