Whole30 Day35

Still plugging away here on the Whole30. It's past the 30 days, but last week and this coming week the box is have a PR partner challenge, and one month's membership is at stake. So I'm staying on the Whole30 until it's over on Friday. Here's why:

20 PRs in 34 days.

That's a lot of PRs.

Now, it's not like it's anything major. 5# to a lift here and there, but as I've been really struggling since having the baby 10 months ago now! (wow!), I need this. And I've actually gotten almost three (I think) really solid months of training in. It might be only two (I have to check my book which isn't near me), but I've been able to do a lot since the Open I feel like. And most of the time I'm feeling better. I certainly feel better in the gym since I'm not eating crap.

I did do my weight and measurements on Day 31 though. 4 pounds down, 9 inches lost, about a dress size down, lots of improvements in strength. A bit disappointed in the weight loss aspect, and I really was hoping to have gotten closer to my pre-pregnancy size, but for me, clearly, this is a very very slow process. I am at least getting stronger and gaining some muscle here, too. So I have to accept that I'm making progress and not get too down on myself about it. Considering where I was a month ago, I've made some big gains/losses I think.

A couple of things though. I don't think I'm getting enough food/calories. The first two weeks I was feeling great, but the last week and a half or so, not so much. I'm getting enough sleep and despite the number of PRs I put up, I am actually taking some solid rest days (sometimes three a week), so I'm not overworking at the gym. I'm not a huge fan of logging my food, especially since I'm eating clean, but I think I need to to see if I'm getting enough energy in.

According to the Eat To Perform calculator, I should be taking in about 400 more calories than I am, and if yesterday's log is typical, then I am fine on the fats but low on the protein and carbs lately. So, for the next week, I am going to work on adjusting these things and see how I feel because I'm getting cranky and bitchy lately, and it's got to be some dehydration, lack of calories, or both.

I'm starting the Whole Life Challenge on Saturday, too, with my sister (it's really for her). And rather than continue hard core as I have been, I am going to allow myself a treat here and there when I want (but no more than once a week), and see how I feel and function on a maybe 90/10 Paleo scheme here. I think I got about another week of the Whole30 in me, and I'm motivated mainly by wanting to win the PR challenge, and I don't want diet to be the thing that boots me out of the competition, so I will carry on, and save my treat for Friday night. But we'll see how adding calories and carbs and protein goes this week. I don't want to follow the ETP plan because the reviews had a lot of people say they got soft and fat, strong, but soft and fat, and that's the opposite of what I want. But I have been suspicious over the last week and a half that I've not been eating enough lately for the amount of energy I'm expending in the gym and just in life in general, and I think that's why I'm not able to get the work done that I need to like I was.

Whole30 Days 3-7 & More thoughts on the CF Open

I've made it through my first week.

The two things that I've done differently this time, cutting out the Spark and switching from butter to ghee*, have made a dramatic difference in how I feel this week versus how I felt that first week two months ago. Just a tiny little change like that, and wow. I was not expecting that much of a difference.

My sugar cravings? Pretty much gone at this point. I did want some king cake last night that's still hanging out in my freezer, but that was more out of habit than real want. For the last four weeks that had been my weekend treat. I didn't even think about it until last night, and I think that's because I wanted more dinner. And I have noticed a difference that I can't quite explain in cutting out the butter. I don't know what the difference is, but I feel a difference.

I also noticed a difference in how I've felt during my workouts this week, too. I mean, I was exhausted. I knew that going into last week that I'd be tired. By Wednesday I had felt like someone pulled my plug, and I was super cranky. (Good thing I only have office hours on Wednesdays!). On Thursday I didn't want to work out either, but I went and took it easy just in case 14.5 involved something that I couldn't do and I didn't want to have three days in a row with hardly a work out or none at all. So I took it easy. And 14.5 just knocked me out! Yesterday I was moving in slow motion for most of the day.

Saturday we did something that we haven't done since Swee'Pea was born--we all went downtown and just walked around. Boudreaux, Baby, Mom, and I all went to lunch then we just went out and enjoyed the day. It was a gorgeous day. It was so wonderful to just do something outside and relaxing. I got my hair done. I took an entire day off of work. It was really nice and really what I needed.

So, as I've said a couple of times in the last couple of weeks, the Open destroyed my self-confidence rather than building it up. I've had a bad attitude at the box. I've been down about what I can't do, what I used to do, what I'm struggling to do. I am happy to report at least that I got to end on a high note. When we watched the announcement for 14.5, my heart sank quite a bit because while thrusters and burpees are two movements I can do, the thrusters were at Fran RX, which I've only done in one other workout (never during Fran), maybe two work outs? And while I was a HUGE fan of burpees before I got pregnant, since the moment I was unable to do them, they have been one of the most energy sucking movements for me. But at least it was something I could do. But I was a little down because I thought that it was going to take me like 35-40 minutes to get through this. I mean, 84 thrusters and 84 burpees. But then I totally surprised myself, and everyone else at the box too. I finished right around most of the other girls. Well, not "right around," but I was not too far behind. Really only 2-3 minutes behind most of them. No one, least of all me, expected *that* to happen. So at least I got to end on a good note. I'm feeling a little bit better. We'll see. Next week is our "testing" week, so we'll see how well I actually am doing.

*yes, I know this means that I really probably wasn't totally Whole30 compliant a month ago, hence my inability to accomplish what I was hoping to. 

On Failing, Disappointment, and Learning from the Whole30 & CrossFit Open

Ugh. So my big Paleo100 plan? Already an utter and complete total failure. Perhaps it was doomed to fail. A big giant plan like that? I'm disappointed in myself. I should not consider myself a failure though for eating clean 80% of the time. I'd like it cleaner, but this is what I'm working with. I'm working on not feeling food guilt, and when I do have treats to have them deliberately and enjoy them and not mindlessly eat them.

I have also failed in doing research every day (or even three times a week), and I've not even written in the little Swee'Pea's journal. And she said "dada" for the first time last Wednesday. And she did something else last week that I've forgotten already. I'm so disappointed in myself.

I have also not met any of my CrossFit Open goals. I was hoping that during 14.2 that I'd be able to get a kipping pull-up while trying to get the chest to bar. Not even close. I thought I'd make a much better showing in 14.3 having been really very good at deadlifts before I got pregnant. I did it twice. I did not come anywhere close to my goal either time. Instead, I just sort of cried because I'm not anywhere near where I was before I got pregnant, and I failed both times in trying to achieve a goal.

I feel like a lot of my life this past year and a half has been about what I have hoped to accomplished and have fallen short of. And I'm trying really hard to be okay with these things.

I'm trying very hard to reframe my thinking of things and consider what it means to fail. Does it simply mean I need to try harder, or reevaluate my goals, or both?

What I've learned about my failing to meet my research and Swee'Pea journal goals is that the things that I need to make a priority need to be the priority in my day. This is what I've come to learn. I'm much more likely to consistently CF (or exercise for that matter) in the morning than I am in the afternoon. I make it a priority, and I do it first. So what I need to do then is when I get up in the morning to read, what I need to read is the stuff for research. Since class prep *has* to get done, then that can get done later, but I need to get the research out of the way so I know that that's accomplished. And I need to take the time earlier in the day to write to the Swee'Pea or do that before reading at night. I need to reorganize based on priority and when I know I can accomplish certain things because it's way too easy to just go to bed at night or relax in the afternoon  and put it off until tomorrow. Because here it is 10 tomorrows later, and I've still not even started.

So let's see how this plan works: research in the morning before CF. Class prep during office hours and at night. Swee'Pea's journal before bed. Clean eating.

I had been spending the weekends reading. I hate that. I'm ahead right now and want to stay that way so that I can read during the week and not have to read on the weekends so I can spend time with my family. I don't want Swee'Pea to see me as the parent who has to work every weekend. 

Fortunately research and class prep intersect this week, so I'm off to research/prep right now.

We'll see how this week goes. To be sure, I will report back.