Yeah, so I ate some non-compliant food last week. I started to say cheated, but I don't want to think of it that way because I don't want food guilt.
I made it through last Sunday. Sunday night was a bad night. Monday was a bad day. But I held it together. What I "cheated" with was a protein shake. I had been struggling to get all of my protein in. I was also still feeling crummy. I never hit that spot, even increasing my carbs, that spot where I start to feel good. My workouts were still horrible. I still could not recover. I think everything was off balance still. Then I had some oatmeal. And some kill cliff. I made it through Valentine's day, but on Wednesday, I had chocolate. On Friday, I had pizza. Saturday, ice cream.
I do very much feel like I've let everyone down. I started the group, I asked for you guys' help, and I do feel like I've failed you.
What I have been doing is following my macros. I haven't lost much weight throughout this whole process, but in the last week of following my macros, I have gotten less bloated. I do feel like my training was a little bit better last week. I didn't make it this morning though. I need sleep. The kid, man, she's killing me. I mean, the interrupted sleep is just killing me. Maybe three to four hours at a time if I'm lucky. It makes it hard to work out, hard to function still. Granted, at least two weeks of the whole30 made it easier. A poor diet would have made it worse.
What have l learned?
Of all the things that have the worst effect on me, sugar seems to be it. I felt horrible on Sunday after the ice cream. I mean, it was good. I enjoyed it, but yesterday was awful. Today is pretty crappy, too, so I have to decide--do I want to feel like shit or do I want to indulge often. It's really hard though. I won't lie, as I'm here making cookies for my class right now. But last night was the first night in a while that I had trouble falling back asleep after the kid woke me up multiple times, and I don't want to go back to that.
You know what I didn't enjoy that I thought I would? The pizza. It was disappointing.
But something else happened. Once I broke the Whole30 with the protein shake and focused on macros, my cravings instantly disappeared. Once I could have whatever I wanted, I didn't want it anymore. It didn't bother me. Although the desire to eat the cookies is great, but I know they won't be good.
What do I need to work on?
I'm not sure much is going to change for me until the kid starts sleeping. I need sleep. I really really need sleep. We're all on edge here. Even the kid.
What will I work on this week?
Staying Whole30 compliant mostly aside from protein shakes and kill cliffs. I'm focused during the open to train and perform (I mean, you know, as well as I can), but also looking forward to the competition in April. So looking forward, I'm focusing on macros and healthy eating, allowing perhaps for a splurge on Saturday nights. But at the end of the week, I'm going to do the weights and measurements and see where I'm at.
I hope you guys are not too disappointed in me.
Monday, February 20, 2017
Sunday, February 12, 2017
Weekly Round Up
Oy! What a week!
I would call this week a success only in the sense that I made it through. Otherwise, I do feel like I've failed in so many ways.
I'll start with the positive: My eczema spots are getting better. My hair seems a little healthier despite how much bleaching and coloring it has gone through in the last eight weeks. I still look frumpy AF, but there's nothing I can do at this point but just leave it be and let it grow and nurse it back to health. Maybe my nails seem a little healthier, too. I've lost some belly bloat and some hip bloat. The hubs says that my face is looking less swollen and smaller. Also, I didn't gain weight on my period this week, so that's like remarkable in and of itself. My GERD is slightly better. Actually, in general it's a whole lot better (with the medication still) unless my pants are too tight. But at least coffee and food do not seem to aggravate it as badly as before as it seemed everything I ate gave me heartburn. I wish that I could say that I'm feeling better than I did last week, but I'm not, on the whole. But I think there might be several reasons for that (as I've mentioned in the previous two posts).
What went wrong:
There are lots of things that went wrong this week. Most of it though, I think, I hope, is related to poor sleep. I should have gotten the kid into the doctor sooner this week than yesterday. She has had me up all week. Since she has a high tolerance for pain and doesn't run a fever when she's sick (generally), I have to be more attuned to other cues--one of them is sleep habits. Three, four times a night she's up, probably from the pressure in her sinuses or ears. Anyway, kid has an ear infection, and her waking up several times a night means that I've not gotten a solid night's sleep in a week. I can go a day or two, but if I hit day three, then things start to fall apart for me. The positive here is that before the Whole30, and while I was on steroids, if she woke me up, I was up. There was no going back to sleep. At least now, I fall back asleep rather quickly almost all of the time.
Because of the lack of sleep, or poor quality sleep, I made it to two workouts this week. My body was not recovering. I was tired. I could hardly move. I saw the massage therapist on Friday, and my body is riddled with knots (mostly stress related) despite near daily mobility work. It was disappointing not to be able to work out this week as I do feel so much better when I do and the mornings go so much better (especially when the kid is fussy and not feeling well--I can handle it better). And I'm not going to lie, I am anticipating a rough day today. The kid didn't get a lot of sleep. I didn't sleep well. The hubs is gone for drill all day. It's going to be a challenge.
The lack of sleep and activity more so than anything else I think deeply affected my stress levels and ability to cope with this week's stress. I have also found myself, after two weeks, in a severe carb deficiency that is affecting me negatively and which I'm working to adjust.
What surprised me:
Honestly, how bad I felt this week! Usually week 2 the good days outnumber the bad at this point, and usually once I make it past the week marker, I don't have those feelings of wanting to give up, but damn, every.single.day was a freaking struggle this week. Every day I battled with "well, who's going to know? The others won't know if I cheat unless I tell them. Just have a sandwich, feel better, and sally forth." Obvi, I would have eventually confessed. And the hubs did not let me cheat. But I never thought I'd hear myself say, "I cannot eat any more meat. I cannot do it." I mean, even when I was a vegan, I'd look at a cut of steak like it was a long lost unrequited lover with whom I could never get the timing right. But alas, it happened. I was meated out this week. But the pervasive desire to just give up this week surprised me. And I was better prepared with meals, too.
How much I miss wine! Boy, do I miss wine. I wanted wine so bad last night.
What needs to be fixed:
Obvi, the carb issue. As I blogged yesterday, I went back to my macro sheet and decided to Whole30 it macro style (I can't really call it flexible eating because I'm staying Whole30 compliant). It's going to involve some adjustment and some additional planning, but that's the plan for this week to see if that helps. Of course, it's not strictly scientific because will it be week 3 that makes the difference or the macro counting. Although if the point of the Whole30 is to start to become "fat adapted" then I'm probably fxcking this up in one sense, but on the other hand, it increases my fruits and veggies, so that can't be bad, right? More nutrients. More vitamins. I'm going to keep trying.
Goals for this week:
I would call this week a success only in the sense that I made it through. Otherwise, I do feel like I've failed in so many ways.
I'll start with the positive: My eczema spots are getting better. My hair seems a little healthier despite how much bleaching and coloring it has gone through in the last eight weeks. I still look frumpy AF, but there's nothing I can do at this point but just leave it be and let it grow and nurse it back to health. Maybe my nails seem a little healthier, too. I've lost some belly bloat and some hip bloat. The hubs says that my face is looking less swollen and smaller. Also, I didn't gain weight on my period this week, so that's like remarkable in and of itself. My GERD is slightly better. Actually, in general it's a whole lot better (with the medication still) unless my pants are too tight. But at least coffee and food do not seem to aggravate it as badly as before as it seemed everything I ate gave me heartburn. I wish that I could say that I'm feeling better than I did last week, but I'm not, on the whole. But I think there might be several reasons for that (as I've mentioned in the previous two posts).
What went wrong:
There are lots of things that went wrong this week. Most of it though, I think, I hope, is related to poor sleep. I should have gotten the kid into the doctor sooner this week than yesterday. She has had me up all week. Since she has a high tolerance for pain and doesn't run a fever when she's sick (generally), I have to be more attuned to other cues--one of them is sleep habits. Three, four times a night she's up, probably from the pressure in her sinuses or ears. Anyway, kid has an ear infection, and her waking up several times a night means that I've not gotten a solid night's sleep in a week. I can go a day or two, but if I hit day three, then things start to fall apart for me. The positive here is that before the Whole30, and while I was on steroids, if she woke me up, I was up. There was no going back to sleep. At least now, I fall back asleep rather quickly almost all of the time.
Because of the lack of sleep, or poor quality sleep, I made it to two workouts this week. My body was not recovering. I was tired. I could hardly move. I saw the massage therapist on Friday, and my body is riddled with knots (mostly stress related) despite near daily mobility work. It was disappointing not to be able to work out this week as I do feel so much better when I do and the mornings go so much better (especially when the kid is fussy and not feeling well--I can handle it better). And I'm not going to lie, I am anticipating a rough day today. The kid didn't get a lot of sleep. I didn't sleep well. The hubs is gone for drill all day. It's going to be a challenge.
The lack of sleep and activity more so than anything else I think deeply affected my stress levels and ability to cope with this week's stress. I have also found myself, after two weeks, in a severe carb deficiency that is affecting me negatively and which I'm working to adjust.
What surprised me:
Honestly, how bad I felt this week! Usually week 2 the good days outnumber the bad at this point, and usually once I make it past the week marker, I don't have those feelings of wanting to give up, but damn, every.single.day was a freaking struggle this week. Every day I battled with "well, who's going to know? The others won't know if I cheat unless I tell them. Just have a sandwich, feel better, and sally forth." Obvi, I would have eventually confessed. And the hubs did not let me cheat. But I never thought I'd hear myself say, "I cannot eat any more meat. I cannot do it." I mean, even when I was a vegan, I'd look at a cut of steak like it was a long lost unrequited lover with whom I could never get the timing right. But alas, it happened. I was meated out this week. But the pervasive desire to just give up this week surprised me. And I was better prepared with meals, too.
How much I miss wine! Boy, do I miss wine. I wanted wine so bad last night.
What needs to be fixed:
Obvi, the carb issue. As I blogged yesterday, I went back to my macro sheet and decided to Whole30 it macro style (I can't really call it flexible eating because I'm staying Whole30 compliant). It's going to involve some adjustment and some additional planning, but that's the plan for this week to see if that helps. Of course, it's not strictly scientific because will it be week 3 that makes the difference or the macro counting. Although if the point of the Whole30 is to start to become "fat adapted" then I'm probably fxcking this up in one sense, but on the other hand, it increases my fruits and veggies, so that can't be bad, right? More nutrients. More vitamins. I'm going to keep trying.
Goals for this week:
- I hope to get more sleep. Hopefully the antibiotics will help the kid sleep through the night better and that means that I will get better sleep.
- Make it to CF at least four times this week.
- Log food. Make more of an effort to get better balanced meals this week!
What I am thankful for:
As craptastic as this week was, and as I didn't feel like doing anything at all, I'm glad for the Whole30 because that means that as much as I wanted to, I didn't resort to pizza, ice cream, chocolate, and wine all week to make me feel better or feed my laziness. So that's good. I'll take that as a win. It would have been so easy to cave, but I didn't.
I think the pluses outweigh the minuses so far. I'm hoping for a better week. I think it will be. I can do this.
Saturday, February 11, 2017
Better than yesterday.
Yesterday was a bad day for me. I was straight up ready to quit. Like near tears yesterday morning and last night ready to throw in the towel. I have accumulated a severe carb deficit. This morning I woke up so depressed that I spent hours fighting the tears because I'm frustrated and upset that the progress hasn't been as fast as I had seen in the past (as I blogged about yesterday). I got a decent amount of sleep last night, so I should have been feeling better this morning, but I wasn't.
Mostly, I've just been worried about getting enough calories these last two weeks. I've been logging my food most of the time to make sure I'm getting enough fat and calories. The protein has been easy, and I've been trying to keep my carbs around 100 grams, but it's not enough. At least not for me. So this morning I went and found my personalized macro plan, googled fruits and veggies with high carbs, and made a plan. It's not even noon and I've already had about 105g carbs, without breaking the Whole30 protocol, and I'm feeling significantly better already. I've mapped out my food for the rest of the day, and I'm not going to meet my carbs or the macro ratio for the day, but it will be the closest it's been since about September. I'm glad that the hubs wouldn't let me quit. Usually, he tells me to eat (especially if I'm talking about food nonstop) and makes me give it up. But he sees how sick I've been, and I'm glad he's encouraging me to figure out how to do this without breaking protocol. When I tried her diet , after not even a week he made me quit. (I don't recommend it at all. It fxcked up my metabolism big time). Sure my belly shrunk, but that was it. My point is, he says he's noticed changes even if I haven't.
So, I'm going to work from a return to my macros while still adhering to a Whole30 protocol and see if this doesn't make me feel better. If I have to make smoothies every morning to help get my carbs, so be it. If I have to give up my bulletproof coffee for a while to get my fat balanced a little bit better, so be it. I want performance as much as I want a healthy body and a fit body composition. I know the macro counting works. But I need the reset of the Whole30. I've got to work harder to figure this out.
So, that's it. I don't feel like quitting today. A little tweaking, a little troubleshooting, better planning, and I should be on the upswing. And the kid has some more medicine, so we should all be getting some more sleep, which will help dramatically, too.
Mostly, I've just been worried about getting enough calories these last two weeks. I've been logging my food most of the time to make sure I'm getting enough fat and calories. The protein has been easy, and I've been trying to keep my carbs around 100 grams, but it's not enough. At least not for me. So this morning I went and found my personalized macro plan, googled fruits and veggies with high carbs, and made a plan. It's not even noon and I've already had about 105g carbs, without breaking the Whole30 protocol, and I'm feeling significantly better already. I've mapped out my food for the rest of the day, and I'm not going to meet my carbs or the macro ratio for the day, but it will be the closest it's been since about September. I'm glad that the hubs wouldn't let me quit. Usually, he tells me to eat (especially if I'm talking about food nonstop) and makes me give it up. But he sees how sick I've been, and I'm glad he's encouraging me to figure out how to do this without breaking protocol. When I tried her diet , after not even a week he made me quit. (I don't recommend it at all. It fxcked up my metabolism big time). Sure my belly shrunk, but that was it. My point is, he says he's noticed changes even if I haven't.
So, I'm going to work from a return to my macros while still adhering to a Whole30 protocol and see if this doesn't make me feel better. If I have to make smoothies every morning to help get my carbs, so be it. If I have to give up my bulletproof coffee for a while to get my fat balanced a little bit better, so be it. I want performance as much as I want a healthy body and a fit body composition. I know the macro counting works. But I need the reset of the Whole30. I've got to work harder to figure this out.
So, that's it. I don't feel like quitting today. A little tweaking, a little troubleshooting, better planning, and I should be on the upswing. And the kid has some more medicine, so we should all be getting some more sleep, which will help dramatically, too.
Friday, February 10, 2017
Day 12.
Argh. That is all I have to say is "argh."
Okay, not really, but I have to admit, this is by far the worst Whole30 I've ever had. Maybe it's stress. Maybe it's anxiety. Maybe it's a lack of sleep. But I have felt worse this week than last week.
I'm tired. I'm emotional. I'm fxcking starving! It has never been quite like this for me before. Usually by this time I'm rockin it. No. Not right now. I'm trying to figure out what exactly is going on. And perhaps I'm just not being patient and should not compare it to past experiences. And it's not even a full two weeks in, so again, maybe I need patience.
The eczema is getting better. The GERD and the allergies seem to have improved a little bit, but not so much that there is a noticeable difference. It's just frustrating. I'm super tired of coughing. Like really really tired of it. It's so annoying. And I don't want to take any more medicine.
Overall, I guess my energy level has improved. It's not where I expected it to be (especially compared to the big energy boosts I had last week) nor where I want it to be. Now, it's possible this isn't the fault of the Whole30, but rather the kid. All week, she's had me up anywhere from 2-4 times a night since Sunday night, so I've not gotten one solid uninterrupted night's sleep yet. And I've not gotten more than a couple of hours at a time either. It's her telltale sign that she's getting sick, and I should have tried to get her into the doctor earlier this week. Now it's too late and they're booked and I have to take her to open clinic tomorrow morning. Sigh.
Perhaps it's also the lack of sleep affecting my depression. I was hoping the obnoxiously clean eating would counteract that, and maybe it has to some degree that I just can't see yet.
I have more to report on, but that's enough for now.
Okay, not really, but I have to admit, this is by far the worst Whole30 I've ever had. Maybe it's stress. Maybe it's anxiety. Maybe it's a lack of sleep. But I have felt worse this week than last week.
I'm tired. I'm emotional. I'm fxcking starving! It has never been quite like this for me before. Usually by this time I'm rockin it. No. Not right now. I'm trying to figure out what exactly is going on. And perhaps I'm just not being patient and should not compare it to past experiences. And it's not even a full two weeks in, so again, maybe I need patience.
The eczema is getting better. The GERD and the allergies seem to have improved a little bit, but not so much that there is a noticeable difference. It's just frustrating. I'm super tired of coughing. Like really really tired of it. It's so annoying. And I don't want to take any more medicine.
Overall, I guess my energy level has improved. It's not where I expected it to be (especially compared to the big energy boosts I had last week) nor where I want it to be. Now, it's possible this isn't the fault of the Whole30, but rather the kid. All week, she's had me up anywhere from 2-4 times a night since Sunday night, so I've not gotten one solid uninterrupted night's sleep yet. And I've not gotten more than a couple of hours at a time either. It's her telltale sign that she's getting sick, and I should have tried to get her into the doctor earlier this week. Now it's too late and they're booked and I have to take her to open clinic tomorrow morning. Sigh.
Perhaps it's also the lack of sleep affecting my depression. I was hoping the obnoxiously clean eating would counteract that, and maybe it has to some degree that I just can't see yet.
I have more to report on, but that's enough for now.
Monday, February 6, 2017
Weekly Round Up
First week of the Whole30 is in the books.
(Ah, did you notice my not so subtle shift to Whole30 from Whole45? more on that in a minute).
What a week! First, I'm dying to get on the scale and see if anything has changed weight wise. For real. I know, part of this is relinquishing the numbers on the scale, and I have noticed visually that some of the bloat seems to have dissipated, but I want to know. Also, most of this week has seriously been about me wanting to throw in the towel. I'm not going to lie. Maybe it was PMS (that I didn't know was PMS until yesterday), but Friday and Saturday night, all I did was whine and whine and whine as I watched the kid eat her paleo pizza and thought about how much I wanted wine and pizza and how no one would know if I just gave up and restarted on Monday, right? But I didn't and yesterday morning I woke up feeling so fantastic that between 7am and 11am, I had two dinners going in the crock pot, had the veggies for the week prepped, had put stew and spaghetti sauce in the freezer, made breakfast, made homemade mayo, made lunch for the week, and washed and sliced up berries for breakfast and lunch, and got the first round of dishes washed and put away. And I was in a great mood! So that right there was worth not having the wine and pizza in order to get all of that done before we left to go see my Grandma and my Dad for the day.
But one of the things I wanted to talk about today is what I learned from this last week, what surprised me about last week, and what I need to work on.
I'll start with What surprised me:
I honestly don't remember it being this hard. Maybe it's because I've either done it during the summer when I had plenty of rest, less responsibility, more time to cook and prep, more flexibility in when I work out, just more time to relax and be flexible. Or I've done it with my mom when she was here, so the food prep wasn't my responsibility (mom often did it while I was at work during the day or I would do it on the weekends and we had plenty of people to occupy the kid and she would help or I could do food prep and then go nap or something). Often I had help. And someone in the house doing it with me. This time though, even though I'd consider myself a veteran of the Whole30, is much more challenging, and I'm having a hard time getting enough food in me to feel full, which seems utterly ridiculous.
Also, I don't think I've ever had such a rocky start either in terms of both energy and mood swings. Perhaps it's because most of the Whole30s I've done haven't really come after such a sustained and horrific diet. My first Whole30 was after we had been eating primarily paleo for a few months, so it wasn't a huge shock to the system. I periodically did Whole7s throughout my pregnancy to help with energy and aches and pains (it knocked out my sciatic pain in a week and it never came back!). And paleo challenges always seem to come up within just a few months of less than strict eating, so there was never a time like this time when it was like a freaking free for all of indulgence and poor choices. Also, I never had the complicating factor of so much medicine in my system either. I suspect that the fact that it is so hard this time is indicative of how much my body needs this and how much I am mentally resistant to it.
What has also surprised me in a positive way is that my GERD seems to be improving already. My allergies seem to be improving already. My eczema seems to be improving already. My mental clarity is getting better. I do feel a little more focused in my work, so that's good. I also seem to be able, most days already, to accomplish more in terms of housework stuff that needs to be taken care of. And I have been able to work out more (although this morning didn't happen because kid was up at 4:30 and I thought it was going to be one of those mornings where she's crying for me every half hour until it's time to get up, but she went back to sleep, but I did get some work done). Last week was the first week in 8 months that I got four workouts in in one week! That felt good.
What have I learned:
I really need to be more patient with this. I think I was expecting an immediate fix since it's largely been my experience that Whole30s aren't that bad, and I'm anxious to get back to something both performance and health based like flexible eating, but I know that that will be a longer road without a reset first. I have also learned that at this point, a Whole45 or Whole60 or 90 may not be sustainable for me (or the family for that matter), and that a Whole30 may be enough to get to a flexible, sustainable, change. However, what is key here for me, or has been this past week, is getting back into the habit of the 5am CF class and the habit of prepping and cooking and being prepared for the week. It forced me last week NOT to eat pizza or opt for take out when that would have been easier. For the first time in a long time, the fridge was empty at the end of the week. All the food was eaten. Nothing got thrown away. I do need to plan better so that there is still food to eat (we ran out of eggs! Eggs, I tell you!) on the weekends. But we improvised and it was all good.
What I need to work on:
Making sure the meals are planned for the week in such a way that we don't run out of eggs! Ha! And stuff to eat on the weekends. I thought we were going to have enough food , but I guess I was so hungry that I ate more than I was planning to. Better balanced lunches. Snacks. Etc.
The week ahead:
What I need to make sure of this week is getting to the store again before Saturday because the hubs will be gone for drill, and while I don't mind little shopping trips with the kid, large ones can be a bit much. She'll let me prep and stuff, but I'd prefer to have everything on hand before the weekend so that if things get rough, we're prepared for it. Drill weekends can be tough. But at least this isn't an out of town weekend. That's a little easier.
Anyway, there it is for me. Have a great week everyone!
(Ah, did you notice my not so subtle shift to Whole30 from Whole45? more on that in a minute).
What a week! First, I'm dying to get on the scale and see if anything has changed weight wise. For real. I know, part of this is relinquishing the numbers on the scale, and I have noticed visually that some of the bloat seems to have dissipated, but I want to know. Also, most of this week has seriously been about me wanting to throw in the towel. I'm not going to lie. Maybe it was PMS (that I didn't know was PMS until yesterday), but Friday and Saturday night, all I did was whine and whine and whine as I watched the kid eat her paleo pizza and thought about how much I wanted wine and pizza and how no one would know if I just gave up and restarted on Monday, right? But I didn't and yesterday morning I woke up feeling so fantastic that between 7am and 11am, I had two dinners going in the crock pot, had the veggies for the week prepped, had put stew and spaghetti sauce in the freezer, made breakfast, made homemade mayo, made lunch for the week, and washed and sliced up berries for breakfast and lunch, and got the first round of dishes washed and put away. And I was in a great mood! So that right there was worth not having the wine and pizza in order to get all of that done before we left to go see my Grandma and my Dad for the day.
But one of the things I wanted to talk about today is what I learned from this last week, what surprised me about last week, and what I need to work on.
I'll start with What surprised me:
I honestly don't remember it being this hard. Maybe it's because I've either done it during the summer when I had plenty of rest, less responsibility, more time to cook and prep, more flexibility in when I work out, just more time to relax and be flexible. Or I've done it with my mom when she was here, so the food prep wasn't my responsibility (mom often did it while I was at work during the day or I would do it on the weekends and we had plenty of people to occupy the kid and she would help or I could do food prep and then go nap or something). Often I had help. And someone in the house doing it with me. This time though, even though I'd consider myself a veteran of the Whole30, is much more challenging, and I'm having a hard time getting enough food in me to feel full, which seems utterly ridiculous.
Also, I don't think I've ever had such a rocky start either in terms of both energy and mood swings. Perhaps it's because most of the Whole30s I've done haven't really come after such a sustained and horrific diet. My first Whole30 was after we had been eating primarily paleo for a few months, so it wasn't a huge shock to the system. I periodically did Whole7s throughout my pregnancy to help with energy and aches and pains (it knocked out my sciatic pain in a week and it never came back!). And paleo challenges always seem to come up within just a few months of less than strict eating, so there was never a time like this time when it was like a freaking free for all of indulgence and poor choices. Also, I never had the complicating factor of so much medicine in my system either. I suspect that the fact that it is so hard this time is indicative of how much my body needs this and how much I am mentally resistant to it.
What has also surprised me in a positive way is that my GERD seems to be improving already. My allergies seem to be improving already. My eczema seems to be improving already. My mental clarity is getting better. I do feel a little more focused in my work, so that's good. I also seem to be able, most days already, to accomplish more in terms of housework stuff that needs to be taken care of. And I have been able to work out more (although this morning didn't happen because kid was up at 4:30 and I thought it was going to be one of those mornings where she's crying for me every half hour until it's time to get up, but she went back to sleep, but I did get some work done). Last week was the first week in 8 months that I got four workouts in in one week! That felt good.
What have I learned:
I really need to be more patient with this. I think I was expecting an immediate fix since it's largely been my experience that Whole30s aren't that bad, and I'm anxious to get back to something both performance and health based like flexible eating, but I know that that will be a longer road without a reset first. I have also learned that at this point, a Whole45 or Whole60 or 90 may not be sustainable for me (or the family for that matter), and that a Whole30 may be enough to get to a flexible, sustainable, change. However, what is key here for me, or has been this past week, is getting back into the habit of the 5am CF class and the habit of prepping and cooking and being prepared for the week. It forced me last week NOT to eat pizza or opt for take out when that would have been easier. For the first time in a long time, the fridge was empty at the end of the week. All the food was eaten. Nothing got thrown away. I do need to plan better so that there is still food to eat (we ran out of eggs! Eggs, I tell you!) on the weekends. But we improvised and it was all good.
What I need to work on:
Making sure the meals are planned for the week in such a way that we don't run out of eggs! Ha! And stuff to eat on the weekends. I thought we were going to have enough food , but I guess I was so hungry that I ate more than I was planning to. Better balanced lunches. Snacks. Etc.
The week ahead:
What I need to make sure of this week is getting to the store again before Saturday because the hubs will be gone for drill, and while I don't mind little shopping trips with the kid, large ones can be a bit much. She'll let me prep and stuff, but I'd prefer to have everything on hand before the weekend so that if things get rough, we're prepared for it. Drill weekends can be tough. But at least this isn't an out of town weekend. That's a little easier.
Anyway, there it is for me. Have a great week everyone!
Thursday, February 2, 2017
Day 2-4
Day 2 was still kind of crappy. I noticed that my energy was perhaps a bit more even during the early part of the day, but by afternoon, despite enough calories at lunch (although I need a better balance), I was not a nice person. I was foggy and grumpy. And starving, and I just wanted something sweet. Or peanut butter. And a kill cliff. I was jonesing for a kill cliff.
But day 3 I woke up a little less bloated. Yesterday I had a ton of energy and felt really good until about 6. I could have gone to bed at six. I got half the kitchen cleaned; I did some laundry. About 2:30 though, I was looking for some kill cliff and chocolate cake. Man, did I want chocolate cake so badly. I wasn't quite as hungry last night, but I had a lot of trouble sleeping. My legs hurt. I was restless. My thoughts were sort of racing. And then I was stressed about not being able to fall asleep. Apparently I kept the hubs up quite a bit.
Today, I'm tired. Mostly I'm sure from the lack of sleep, or lack of quality sleep. I apparently still got over 7 hours. I was sore at CF this morning. I felt a little more focused in class today and a little more organized. I felt less bloated this morning, too. But I'm tired. And I'm starving right now, and I don't have any snacks! I may have to go find some nuts or something. And there's nothing available on campus that I can have. Oh well. I can make it.
Here are some other positives thus far, which is nice to see these changes already:
But day 3 I woke up a little less bloated. Yesterday I had a ton of energy and felt really good until about 6. I could have gone to bed at six. I got half the kitchen cleaned; I did some laundry. About 2:30 though, I was looking for some kill cliff and chocolate cake. Man, did I want chocolate cake so badly. I wasn't quite as hungry last night, but I had a lot of trouble sleeping. My legs hurt. I was restless. My thoughts were sort of racing. And then I was stressed about not being able to fall asleep. Apparently I kept the hubs up quite a bit.
Today, I'm tired. Mostly I'm sure from the lack of sleep, or lack of quality sleep. I apparently still got over 7 hours. I was sore at CF this morning. I felt a little more focused in class today and a little more organized. I felt less bloated this morning, too. But I'm tired. And I'm starving right now, and I don't have any snacks! I may have to go find some nuts or something. And there's nothing available on campus that I can have. Oh well. I can make it.
Here are some other positives thus far, which is nice to see these changes already:
- GERD seems to be improving.
- Asthma seems to be improving.
- Eczema seems to be improving.
- Though the energy hasn't been entirely consistent, I've had more energy this week than I have had in a very long time.
- With the exception of this morning, I have felt more rested.
- Even despite not feeling rested this morning, I still was able to make it to CF at 5 am.
- While I could not do the weights I wanted to or the strict pull ups like I wanted to, I still got through the workout easier than I expected to.
- And I really do feel less foggy during teaching the last few days.
- Less bloat.
I still have a ways to go with the afternoon hunger and cravings and grumpiness, but I feel like it will eventually get better. Also, the desire to weigh myself and check my measurements is great. That is a hard temptation not to give in to.
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Day 1
I ate so much for lunch yesterday. It was not properly planned out either because I didn't get my lunches made on Sunday when I got home from my grandmother's. So it was basically two cups of ground meat (that I didn't drain! That's what made me sick!), two single servings of wholly guacamole, some compliant salsa, and some shredded lettuce. I was still hungry because of the lack of carbs, and had some of my sweet potato breakfast and some blueberries. Then I chugged pepto all the rest of the day and night. I was also expecting to just sleep like a baby last night. I fell asleep pretty early, but I woke up at midnight (but I think I went back to sleep pretty quickly), and then the kid got me up at 3:40, and then up again at 4:20 to go work out.
I will say this at least though--despite being woken up twice, I did get back to sleep pretty quickly. That's a significant improvement already, so I'll take it.
I was expecting to be slow this morning, but I wasn't expecting the barbells and kettlebells to feel so damn heavy. I felt like I had become a 90 pound weakling overnight. But I know a dip in strength is to be expected. I'm tired and stiff, but it at least today seems to be a little bit more manageable than what last week felt like.
Not going to lie though--yesterday, by about 4 pm, I did feel like throwing in the towel. I kept saying, "I really just want to start this tomorrow. I can start over tomorrow. I don't feel like finishing up the dinner; what am I going to do without my Reese's buttercups? How can I cook without wine? No, no. I want one more day." And had I not had the group going, were I not doing this with other kick ass women, I would had thrown in the towel probably and tried again today. I'm glad that I didn't though. I'm glad that I made it through day 1. I know that I'm going to feel a lot shittier before I start to feel better. My reflux seems to be a bit better this morning. I'm not expecting for a miracle overnight or by the end of the week even. Actually, I'm fully expecting to feel crappy and sluggish for at least three weeks, maybe even four, and I expect some ebb and flow, too, with how things are going for the next three to four weeks. What I will try to focus on to stay motivated are the little things--going back to sleep better, not feeling like I'm going to faint from the reflux (apparently my reflux doesn't burn--it triggers my asthma and it makes me nauseous and lightheaded which is why I didn't know it was GERD), perhaps feeling tired rather than exhausted, which would be a step up. So I will keep tabs on that.
today though, at least, I have a much better lunch planned and ready to go, and I'm getting my hair done, fixed, something that will hopefully be an improvement, so there's that at least, yeah?
I will say this at least though--despite being woken up twice, I did get back to sleep pretty quickly. That's a significant improvement already, so I'll take it.
I was expecting to be slow this morning, but I wasn't expecting the barbells and kettlebells to feel so damn heavy. I felt like I had become a 90 pound weakling overnight. But I know a dip in strength is to be expected. I'm tired and stiff, but it at least today seems to be a little bit more manageable than what last week felt like.
Not going to lie though--yesterday, by about 4 pm, I did feel like throwing in the towel. I kept saying, "I really just want to start this tomorrow. I can start over tomorrow. I don't feel like finishing up the dinner; what am I going to do without my Reese's buttercups? How can I cook without wine? No, no. I want one more day." And had I not had the group going, were I not doing this with other kick ass women, I would had thrown in the towel probably and tried again today. I'm glad that I didn't though. I'm glad that I made it through day 1. I know that I'm going to feel a lot shittier before I start to feel better. My reflux seems to be a bit better this morning. I'm not expecting for a miracle overnight or by the end of the week even. Actually, I'm fully expecting to feel crappy and sluggish for at least three weeks, maybe even four, and I expect some ebb and flow, too, with how things are going for the next three to four weeks. What I will try to focus on to stay motivated are the little things--going back to sleep better, not feeling like I'm going to faint from the reflux (apparently my reflux doesn't burn--it triggers my asthma and it makes me nauseous and lightheaded which is why I didn't know it was GERD), perhaps feeling tired rather than exhausted, which would be a step up. So I will keep tabs on that.
today though, at least, I have a much better lunch planned and ready to go, and I'm getting my hair done, fixed, something that will hopefully be an improvement, so there's that at least, yeah?
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